Falling
by dame-alyssa
Summary: **SPOILER SEASON 4 - HEAVEN AND HELL** The story of why Anna fell


Anna stopped running in a small thicket of trees. She listened for the sounds of her pursuers but heard only the sound of leaves in the wind. Not close then, but certainly not far. She leaned back against a tree and tried to catch her breath. She had been running for so long she was nearly exhausted. Still, she couldn't stop for long. They would be here soon enough. She rested her head against the bark closing her eyes to try and quell the hopeless panic that gripped her. Where would she go? Anywhere she could think of would be swarming with angels looking for her in no time, if they weren't there already, waiting. If she did find a place to hide, Zachariah and Uriel were relentless in their pursuit. She wouldn't be safe for long. As she stood in the forest trying to breathe deeply, the memory of how she got to this point flooded her mind.

"Our orders are WHAT?" The shock of the words had frozen her on the spot.

"You heard me." Zachariah said as he looked at her with a small half smile. 'The demon, Azazel, is looking for a way to bring Lucifer back. We are to help him." Hearing it for a second time didn't dampen the shock of it.

"We can't! We can't bring Lucifer back. We can't help a DEMON!" She had begun pacing as she spoke but now stopped and faced Zachariah. "Who did these orders come from?" She folded her arms, waiting for his answer.

"That's not your concern. All you need to know is these are our orders. You must obey." He fixed her with a cold stare and she suppressed a shudder at the truth of the words.

"But we can't, Zachariah," she unfolded her arms and spread them in an open gesture, pleading. "We can't. Bringing Lucifer back," she paused briefly as the enormity of it hit her again. "He will destroy everything. EVERYTHING! Not just Earth and the humans but here too! Our brothers and sisters, WE will be destroyed too!"

"Now that's a little dramatic don't you think? Do you really think we would have these orders if we couldn't be saved?" He looked at her as though she were a child being unreasonable.

"Zachariah please," she begged openly. "We can't." He looked at her for a moment then the small smile came back to his lips. "What are you going to do Anna?" He said, mocking her. "Disobey?"

That had infuriated her. She had always been loyal, more loyal than most it seemed. She glared at him wishing feverently she could slap that smug look right off his face. She decided then and squared her shoulders resolutely. "I will not do it."

Zachariah continued to watch her. "You know what the punishment is for disobeying Anna." The warning in his tone was not lost on her but did not change her mind. She straightened to her full height, lifting her chin slightly in defiance.

"I will not lead my soldiers to their death in order to free Lucifer." Her words rang in her ears as she and Zachariah stared at each other. Zachariah sighed turning away. "Very well, Uriel will be pleased." She had run then, but still heard Zachariah's shouts that came from behind her. "Where will you go Anna? You can't escape us!"

The sound of a large group of people moving through the forest brought her back to the present. They were catching up to her. No – they had caught her! The sounds were coming from all sides as they surrounded her. She was seized by panic again but this time could not suppress it. Hopelessness rising, she fell to her knees, hands clutching the hair at her temples desperately trying to think of what to do next. Where would she go? Who could she trust? What could she do? What? What? WHAT? She let out a sob of defeat as tears flowed over her face.

"I can feel you Anna!" A voice shouted from the trees. It was Uriel, he had come for her personally. "You can't hide from me!" She looked up trying to see him, but all she saw were trees. She searched the trees desperately for a glimpse of them but saw nothing, the panic in her rising even further.

A leaf fell into her vision as she looked about wildly. It's graceful decent entranced her and she felt a calm settle over her as it touched the ground. That was what she could do – fall! If she was no longer an angel they wouldn't be able to find her! But falling meant she would be leaving her home – forever this time. Fresh tears welled at the thought of never seeing those she loved again. She heard a branch snap nearby and turned her head quickly but her pursuers were still out of sight. She had no time to reflect and no choice. She had not been carrying her weapons when she was summoned to Zachariah and all she had was a small dagger worn by all angels of her rank to show their seniority. It was purely decorative however and as blunt as the leaf that had given her this chance. She removed the knife from her belt and held it in front of her briefly before shutting her eyes and plunged it into her chest. The pain was unbearable, searing white hot. She cried out in agony. Shaking and sobbing she pulled the knife from her and drove it in once more, higher this time, dragging the blunted blade through her flesh to meet the first wound. Clenching her teeth against the pain she pulled the knife out again but this time it was her hand she drove into her gaping chest. She could feel the edges of her Grace, softer and cooler than the blood and tissue of her body. She grasped it and holding her breath, wrenched it from her body.

Writhing in incomprehensible agony Anna screamed as she held her Grace in her hand. She watched the leaves in the trees above her move seemingly in slow motion. She turned her head and saw a few strands of Grace still clung to her body and past that, as though running underwater, her pursuers were approaching. She groped for the knife and finding it, swung it forcefully through the last strains of her Grace. As they severed she seemed to snap back into her body, the sensation jarring her flesh and making her bones ache. "ANNA NO!" someone yelled urgently but she had already begun to fall, she could feel it. She seemed to sink into the ground, passing through the dirt and leaves as though she were water through a sponge. A hand came into view, reaching for her. She instinctively reached back but could not take it. Then she saw the face the hand belonged to – Castiel. "ANNA!" he yelled again, a look of anguish in his features. He was still reaching for her even though he knew it was useless. "Oh Castiel," she thought, her heart squeezing with loss. "My poor, sweet Castiel. Will you ever forgive me?" It didn't matter, he faded from her sight as blackness enveloped her and she lost all sensation of her body. She was dimly aware that her Grace was no longer near her, but that didn't matter either. All that mattered now was that she was falling.

Falling...falling...falling...


End file.
